I was playing one of those silly Facebook games today:
“Which legendary song best describes your life?”
I got: “I Will Survive.” That is so suitable. Survival.
A few years ago I was feeling really low. Yes, I know I didn't have all the problems many folks have, that there are so many people in far worse situations.
That knowledge still didn't help the fact that I was seriously depressed, suffering from anxiety attacks and feeling down. I jumped every time the phone rang. Life just seemed to be throwing one thing after another at me. I was almost to the point of giving up. It was that bad. I was just tired, tired, tired. Tired of having to cope with things. Tired of just sitting crying. I am still not really totally over this. Tears spring to my eyes as I am writing and remember. Oblivion often seems so attractive.
I had to pull myself out of it. I needed to grasp a safety line and hold on. I didn't start taking medicine, instead I turned to my knitting. I knit my way out of depression one stitch at a time.
The sheer automatic act of knitting is smoothing. The mental process of calculating stitches and patterns is stimulating. It keeps the brain occupied and is calming. I later found there are many research projects on how knitting therapy is successful!
I did test knits for other designers on Ravelry. I found controlling for errors fascinating but then I started designing my own things. I started knitting things for my dolls. They never protest and always wear what I make them with a smiling face! Lol! Nothing worse than knitting something that isn't appreciated!
Making my own knitted items comes easily to me but I found writing them down was far more complicated! I had to learn a whole lot of new things. Stimulating for the brain.
Although I would never be like one of the Stepford housewives, I knew I wasn't really useless and inadequate. I wasn't just a bad housewife and mother unable to keep things under control. I was not and didn't want to become a robot.
Even though people around me would never appreciate what I knit there were many others who did! The best part was when I received positive online feedback. So nice to feel I was capable of creating something others admired and wanted to copy!
Life is just too short to waste time trying to conform to doing what others think you should. Although I do try to keep the house clean and tidy, I will never be able to match up to the ridiculous standards some set. Cleaning all the windows and polishing doorknobs everyday is just not life in my opinion! (I had a neighbour who literally did that!)
I can't be a slave waiting on others. I have one life and need to do the things I want to while I can. The years go by so quickly.
So if you are feeling down and lonely, try picking up some yarn and start knitting. It might work for you as well!
Have you ever dealt with depression and anxiety attacks? How did you cope?
Has anyone else used knitting to overcome depression?
I would love to hear from you.