Mother Memories

I have been very quiet for a long time. It is taking me far more time than I thought to elaborate my loss. I miss my Mother.

This is my all-time favourite photo.

My Super Big Sister!:

The three of us.

Some may have thought because I didn't go to the funeral that I was indifferent. So far from the truth. Maybe because I couldn't physically be there it hurt even more. Mother-daughter relationships are always difficult at the best of times it seems. All in all I had a good relationship with my Mother. She was a difficult, unhappy, but very intelligent person.
I have the precious memory that she once said I was an ideal daughter!
I have been very far away for so many years but there was always the possibility of writing a letter or phoning; even when I had to go as far as Catanzaro to be able to phone! Usually I managed to say Hi at least every fortnight recently even when money was tight.
Now it still seems so unreal to me. I keep thinking that I must say this that or the other to Maman when I speak to her!
I so understand  when she said she still found herself talking to Daddy, I would sometimes say, "tell Daddy...!"

There were things that Maman would understand that no.one else will ever "get"; a shared delight in crafting and knitting. She understood my desire to create knitting patterns for doll clothes and although she never actually saw them, she delighted  in the knowledge that I had published another design and that it was successful. She was proud of me.
I know that if I had asked her opinion she would have told me to not go. By the time I could have got there I would not been able to see her and it was so long from then till the funeral that it would have just been impossible. Add the fact that financial problems would have meant I would have had to borrow money or go into overdraft to go, plus leave my youngest daughter when she needed my help for schoolwork it just wasn't feasible. Still hurts. 
Life seems so hard at times. Daddy passed away and then my Father-in-Law. Ironically I spent all day holding my Fil's hand the day he left us. He had suffered for a while. 
Seems I can't be there for my own Folk.
I have many memories. So few photos. 

Still hurts.

I have decided I will make digital copies of all my old photos. There aren't many but like my favourite one of my Mother and our cat they are slowly decreasing in quality. It has been too exposed to sun and heat over all the years.

Crosshatch Lace knit Flat

Crosshatch stitch knit flat.

There has been a discussion about this pattern which was written to knit in the round. There are images on pinterest. I have added the written instructions here.

This is the stitch pattern written to knit flat. You need a multiple of 6 stitches.

1: *K3, k2tog, yo, k1; repeat from * to end.

2: *P2, yo, p2tog, p2; repeat from * to end.

3: * K1, k2tog, yo, k3; repeat from * to end.

4:  *P4, yo, p2tog; repeat from * to end.

5: *K1, yo, ssk2tog tbl, k3; repeat from * to end.

6:  *P2, ssp tbl, yo, p2; repeat from * to end.

7: *K3, yo, ssk2tog tbl, k1; repeat from * to end.

8:  *Ssp tbl, yo, p4; repeat from * to end.

Abbreviations:

Co: cast on.

Bo: bind off.

St-stitch: Sts- stitches

k: knit

p: purl

yo: yarn over

k2 tog: Knit two stitches together as one stitch.

ssk2tog tbl: Slip, slip, knit, slip 2 sts knitwise and knit them together through back loop.

Ssp tbl: Slip, slip, purl, slip 2 sts knitwise and purl them together through back loop.

Fallin Apart

Fallin Apart: "Fallin to pieces." My latest design, almost ready to publish. Wonder just how much it reflects my mood.

Fall winds and falling leaves,

Am I just falling apart?

So tired recently. Seems everything is going wrong. I know I am neglecting this blog but just don't seem to have the energy to update. Life has been tough and various problems are around.
Tired, just tired.

One Month

One month today. Strange how life goes on. Strange just how much it means to me. Too much pain, not understood. I still have the thing that I think I must tell her this that and the other. When we are so far apart it just doesn't seem real. 
I think of how it would have been here, so quick, then a church service today, the ricordini, flowers....nothing. No news, just nothing, just  vuoto, nulla.
I can only try to come to terms with this alone, as usual, alone. Always alone.

No one understands. No one can understand. 

Ellowyne Simply Ella.

I have been working on some patterns recently. Finally I have another one available in my Ravelry store and I will be adding them to Etsy as soon as I find time! 

Ellowyne Wilde dolls are such lovely models. Really fun to knit for.

So elegant!

Ready to go out!

Simply Classical.

Dreary days.

Simply Ella.

Ellowyne.

Another look.

Blue eyes.

Calabria.

We went to Sersale this morning. Look at the view from up there!

Such deep valleys!

Palm Sunday

 These are a few photos of the Palm Sunday procession in the village.

It is an old tradition that on Palm Sunday people in the village decorate olive branches and take them from the old church to the calvario and then to the main church in procession before celebrating the Mass. 

In olden days they had soppressata and small bottles of wine hung on them. Little decorative provola cheese and sweet cuzzupa.

 Nowadays there are chocolate eggs and sweets but a few people still do follow the old way.
This is a tradition which has died out in many of the local villages. Fortunately the new priest has maintained it here.

Here are some photos of a past year with the old priest. Even when it rains everyone participates just the same!